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  • Dr. Lisa Ghent, ND

My secret to happiness

I venture to say that if most of you knew what my life looked like day to day you would never describe it as balanced. It’s possible that some people may even judge me (negatively) for it. Sometimes I even judge myself. But then I remind myself why I do what I do and everything is right in the world again. For me, life isn’t about balance, it’s about fulfillment.

I feel like there are so many pressures on us as women that the goal of balance is pretty much unattainable. If you’re being a great mom, how can you be a great business person? If you’re rocking your job, how can you be a great wife? Everyone has an opinion about how you should divide up your time, no matter what you do, and guess what? Everyone’s opinion is different.

What if you were aiming for a different goal, what if it wasn’t about balance? What if you felt fulfilled, no matter how crazy life is? How would that change things for you?

My kids are still pretty young – 11, 9 and 6. There is no shortage of mommy-guilt when I leave the house on a Saturday morning for the office, or tell my kids I won’t see them again before they go to bed. But the lesson I’m teaching them is so much more than just ‘do what makes you happy’ or ‘work hard and you can achieve anything.’ It’s that I am important to myself; living my best life is important. And it’s by living my best life – a life of contentment and fulfillment, not necessarily balance – that I am the best mother and wife I can be.

So whatever this looks like for you, make the changes you need to. Don’t just survive your life, LOVE it, not superficially but in your bones. Your life should be soul-nourishing, even if it’s hard and you don’t get enough sleep and every day is just one foot in front of the other. Your life and all you do to fill your time should light you up from the inside out, and if it doesn’t then you need to re-evalute what you spend your time doing, or at least stop aiming for an unattainable goal like ‘balance.’ Because maybe you already have everything you need, you just need to look at it in a different light.

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